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Finding Your Tribe: The Importance of Networks & Community

Articles· Lifestyle

2 Feb

As humans we are inherently social creatures.  It’s important for all of us, especially women, to have a sense of belonging and connection.  As we age and our circumstances change, it can become much harder to make friends and combat those feelings of loneliness that can come from loss of friendships, divorce or children growing up and moving away from home.  All of us need to find our tribe and understand the importance of Networks and Community.

I’ve written about this before when talking about Who’s On Your Team, which speaks to how crucial it is to have a bunch of people available to help with your overall mental health.

What’s the difference between a network and a community?

I saw it written in an article I read some time ago  “Networks Connect and Communities Care”.  Another way of looking at this is that you (as an individual) are part of a community, but a network is your own.

A network is a connection between people for the mutual benefit of both. People with which to trade information and create relationships with mutual benefits.  Contributing to someone else’s success as well as benefitting yourself from their knowledge. I.e. I need something and I know I can connect with someone who can help me get it.

A community is a group of like minded people (teammates, friends, neighbours etc) who come together for a common goal.  Community gives us a strong personal connection with others and a sense of belonging.  It embraces a sense of pride and spirit and a sense of self.  Think about Mardi Gras.  A perfect example of community. People coming together for a common goal. Sharing personal connections, feeling a sense of belonging and embracing their own pride and spirit as well as of all those around them.

Technology is not community

In our ever connected and digital world it’s all about likes and followers and levels of interaction.  This though is not community.  It definitely helps to amplify and enhance it, but it’s not actually community itself.  Technology can extend our social connections in amazing ways but what it lacks is personal connection.

Understanding the importance of connection

When I first moved to a new area and got a first hand understanding of the importance of community,  I did so with a fairly naïve idea of what it would be like to establish myself someplace new.  I was fairly newly married and very pregnant with my first child.  We left the city for a job opportunity and ended up in a rural farming town about 4hours out of Sydney.  The ex had a job and therefore an immediate sense of connection with people.  I on the other hand, was unemployed, very pregnant, very sick and I knew no one.  Try as I might to meet people, to connect and to find friends (mothers’ groups, craft classes, baby music time and more) I realised almost immediately the unconscious bias of the town’s general population.  You are not local and so therefore we don’t want to get close.  Happy as they were to chat in the supermarket and coo over my new baby, no one wanted to be friends.  I was very lonely.

When I next moved across the across the city with two young kids in tow,  we certainly met some nice people and were connected with a new group fairly soon, however forming good solid friendships which were genuine & supportive in an already tight community was still very hard for me to do.

Apparently it can take up to 3years to settle into a new place, make friends, establish solid connections and build that sense of community.  So last year, in my latest move – in with my partner, I’ve been much more open minded about the challenges I know I’ll face.  Not having the kids at school here adds another element to this (as any parent will tell you, having that avenue of connection really helps to open up avenues for friendships).

That being so, I’ve had to look for other ways to grow my networks and the community around me.  I’ve been a bit more specific and very intentional about how I did this and even though I’m still in the middle of that slow slog now (and at times it can still seem a bit overwhelming), I can see things working for the better.  I know what I want, I know why I want it and I have a clear idea of how I can get there.

 

Get yourself out there

Making friends and meeting people can be hard.  To do this you need to get yourself to places where other people hang out. You need to put yourself out there. Make the effort, use your initiative, don’t wait for others to come to you.

You also need to remember to stay positive.  Not everyone will connect with you the first time round, some things happen very slowly.  Friendships and connection require a certain amount of time as well as give and take and as well as trying to connect with others, be open and ready to receive invitations that come your way.

It’s never too late in life to make new friends.  Investing the time in friendships and connections can have an enormous impact on your holistic health.  Not only mentally and socially but in an all around happier you.

Just Be You, Everyday,

Danni
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thedailyauthentic

⭐️ Personal Development Coaching for women
⌨️ Coach | Mentor | Planner
#justbeyoueveryday
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Danni Hanson
It’s true! Workshops are in the pipeline! Aft It’s true! 

Workshops are in the pipeline!

After some great feedback I’ve decided to start creating workshops which will be available via zoom. 

First up we will have understanding values, goal setting and the like, however more info will be available in the coming weeks.

Feel free to comment or DM me if you are interested or feel like sharing some topic ideas. 

Really looking forward to sharing this with you!

#justbeyoueveryday
If you asked me how I am today, I'd say I was grea If you asked me how I am today, I'd say I was great.

I am. Really! 

My life is great, but that doesn't mean that it's perfect, or nothing ever goes wrong, or no bad stuff ever stresses me out. 

Trust me that shit happens ALL. THE. TIME.

So I'm great and I'm also sad because I miss seeing people.

I'm great and I'm worried about my family and their struggles.

I'm great and I'm frustrated about work.

I'm great and I'm tired. mentally & physically.

It's not what happens TO YOU that defines you. 

It's how you can pick yourself up and keep going, even when everything around you might be falling apart.

Dumbledore said it best really... "It's our choices, that define who we really are....far more than our abilities".

So what choice do you make today? 

#justbeyoueveryday

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What do you do, that’s just for you? Me? I make What do you do, that’s just for you?

Me? I make smelly candles. 

Personally, I love smelly candles. I mean, I love REALLY, REALLY smelly candles. The kind that makes your entire house smell fabulous. 

Which is why all the smelly candles I make, are really, really smelly!! Haha. 

My fave smell I sell ( just in case you are interested, it’s fab, check the website!) is English Pear & Freesia… why? Because it’s a lovely clean, air freshening scent and it’s absolutely NOT because it reminds me of freshly washed laundry….! Ha! 

P.S I know the photo is not this scent
P.P.S if you want to buy some, just check out the link to my website in my bio.
P.P.P.S Please make sure you do something, everyday, that’s just for you. 

Just Be You, Everyday

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Right. Let’s talk supplements. I’ve always Right. Let’s talk supplements. 
 
I’ve always been open to taking vitamins and minerals my body is lacking. However, I realise it can be really difficult to figure out what you need. 
 
For me it’s been a lot of trial and error over the years and the biggest thing I’ve realised is that a multivitamin just didn’t cut it. Might be good for some, but not me.  As I’m ageing, my body is changing and it’s becoming really obvious (due to pain or other symptoms) that higher dosages of specific things are necessary.  I played around with different combinations of vitamins for ages until I found what works for me. 
 
Magnesium Chelate:  I suffer horribly from chronic pain and cramping in my muscles, restless legs and the like (remember growing pains? That’s something that never goes away for me). Only dramatically increasing the amount of magnesium I take helped this improve. 
 
Glucosamine:  Similar to the magnesium, a big dose of this has made the most improvement on my painful joints. I think this in particular, is what makes exercising bearable.
 
Vitamin B12: this is great for keeping me alert, energetic and helps alleviate the 3pm slump.
 
Hormone Harmony by @thehappymammoth 
I had never even heard of this until a few months ago. I was on the lookout for a new hormone supplement, as I had tried a few and they didn’t do much.  I did think these people were a bit full of it with the promises they spouted, but after lots of research I decided to give it a go.  Well shit! It’s been fabulous. I sleep better, wake better, don’t get the old lady hot flashes so much, my mood has dramatically improved, I’m not nearly so bloated and I generally just feel overall, a million times better.  Even considering the price (they are NOT cheap) they work a treat, so, will I keep paying this over-inflated cost to buy this product? Damn straight I will!
 
No 2 people are the same. Our bodies are different, our needs are different and what works for us is different.  Don’t be afraid to see what works for you. Do your research and always check with your doctor. 

Just always remember to take care of you. That’s what #selfcare is all about.
 
Just Be You, Everyday
It's no secret I'm an organised person. Over the It's no secret I'm an organised person. 

Over the years I have tried many different platforms, and I still use a good mix of paper goal planners, wall mounted calendars and a family planner on the fridge that shows me who's where and what's for dinner.

However, what I really love is this app.  It's called Evernote. It's been around awhile, and it's really really great.

It's my whole life in one app and without it I would be lost!

Here's what it does:

@evernote is…

It's a calendar (and it syncs with my email calendars);

You can create all sorts of different notebooks for all different things (I've got notebooks for the kids, for business, for work, for study, for hobbies, for home renovations, for Christmas, you name it);

You can link to excel spreadsheets for quick links to budgets and planners;

You can email items into the app and save them (like receipts, recipes, info from the web or photos or documents);

And much, MUCH more.

However. My absolute fave thing about it is the task list. 

In any notebook, any page, anywhere, you can create a task.  Name it, give it a due date, make it recurring.

So, I just update all my notebooks in the course of my week, and every day, I can just click into the "tasks" list and see a list (which you can sort, I like doing this by Due Date) and click off easily when its done.

It's fantastic!! Honestly, if I could create something this good, I would!

If you need an all in one organiser/diary/journal/digital file cabinet/to do list, to carry around with you - give it a go.

Just Be You, Everyday

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
It's Fri-Yay. Hoo-Ray! Do me a favour. Think abou It's Fri-Yay. Hoo-Ray!

Do me a favour. Think about everything you did this week.  Be that paid work, unpaid work, volunteer work, housework, hobby work or being-a-taxi-for other people kind of work. 

Now Congratulate yourself.  You did it! You got it done, you are safely out the other end. 

Be Proud!

Now go get a drink, buy some takeaway, log on to netflix.  Whatever it is you do on the weekend that's just for you.

You've Earned It.

Just Be You, Everyday
Danni

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
When my marriage ended, there were many people who When my marriage ended, there were many people whom I chose to cut contact with. 

Not because I didn't like them, but because I knew that keeping that relationship alive would actively work against my personal journey of healing, and my need to move forward with my own life. 

If I see them now, I still say hello, I chat, I'm still genuinely happy to see them.  However, that's where it ends. It's for the benefit of my mental health. Which is, ultimately, most important to me.

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
Exercise is stress relief right? You know that. Exercise is stress relief right? 

You know that.  The endorphins and serotonin boost that comes from it, improves your mood.

It feels good to smack a punching bag, pound the pavement or push hard against some weights when we are stressed. Sure, exercise isn't always fun at the time, but the feeling you get at the end, that's what makes it all worthwhile.

Make it a habit to move your body everyday.  Run, weights, gym if that's your thing. 

Switch up an activity if you can to make it include movement.  Walk instead of driving, find an easy exercise video online.  Take a bushwalk on the weekend or a bike ride with the kids.  Walk your dog a bit longer than you normally do. 

It doesn't have to be the same thing everyday!

Any movement is good movement. For your mind, as well as your body. 

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
Try these 4 ways to focus today and Make. It. Happ Try these 4 ways to focus today and Make. It. Happen!

1. Eliminate distractions.  Turn off all notifications, make a set time for social media, turn your phone to voicemail.

2. Do one thing at a time. Do it well, do it properly. Get it done.

3. Eat & Rest. Choose nutritious meals, stay away from take out and sugars.  Take short, frequent breaks throughout the day.

4. Get a proper nights' sleep.  There's a reason sleep deprivation is torture. It might not be violent but because it attacks the mental & biological functions at the core of our being, it's a lot more damaging (and probably should have been number 1!).

Try These. I promise. They work!

Just Be You, Everyday

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
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