It can be a hard pill to swallow when we see others flourishing in a space that we wish we were also. Knowing how to stop living through others and being guided by your own values is a skill. One that requires practice and perseverance to master. However one you do, your entire world will open up.
Talking to your friends and seeing where they are in their lives compared to you can be crushing at times. We all have dreams, wants and needs and knowing that, be by your own hand or that of fate – you are not where you think you should be, can be a sad and somewhat depressing time.
The one thing to remember is that it’s not your life your watching – it’s someone else’s. You don’t know how she got there, what help she had, who pays her bills or what she misses out on in order to have that life. You just see the outside.
Life is one of those things that just IS. It’s full of things we don’t see coming, things we can never plan for, things that we wish were different. It’s hard to deal with sometimes when it doesn’t work out in way we would have liked.
The only way to improve the view is to change how you are looking at it.
Focus on yourself. Focus on the things you can control. All that time you spend wishing your life was different, or thinking about how someone else has more than you, is time that you could be spending improving yourself and your own situation. You have zero control over the way other people act, speak, spend their money or choose to live their lives.
You are guided by your own values….what’s really important to you.
You are only human. You can only do so much. Sure, you can plan, work out ways forward and research ways on how to improve yourself, but sometimes, you also have to just BE. To understand that the point of being human is not about being perfect. Sometimes, life is all about timing, things happening when they should. Sometimes it’s about seeing things differently, like seeing lessons instead of barriers. Sometimes its about learning to be uncomfortable in a situation you don’t like because you understand you do not have the power to change it.
I do think at times, our own negative self talk comes from the fact we think we should be able to do things, change things or be different, and in doing so, we conveniently forget that we are, in fact – just human.
You need to trust in yourself. Take a breath. Pause. Think about what you have and be grateful for it. You are enough.
Just Be You, Everyday