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You Need To Know You Are Worthy

Articles· Self

18 Jan
know you are worthy

I had a lovely Christmas.

Even though Covid stuffed it up, even though the 10 person event restriction meant my Family Christmas got cancelled, that was OK.

Even though the joint family holiday we planned with my partner, his family and all our combined kids got cancelled, that was OK too.

We made it a great day.

Probably the first time in 14 years I’ve been able to sleep in on Christmas Day. Yippee!

We had all the kids together for Christmas night, and it was a tad chaotic, but that’s what makes Christmas fun right?

I also got a little bit spoiled in the present department, and that’s one thing that made me feel not so great.

Why?

I didn’t think I deserved it.

You might narrow your eyes at me now, and OK, I get that, but really, it didn’t feel right.

I mean, its awesome to know someone cares for you so much they are willing to spend their hard earned money on you, but for some reason, I still feel guilty when I got given these things, just like I do when when people want to help me.  I know I shouldn’t, yet I feel terrible, like I’ve somehow asked for things I’m not allowed.

I have no idea where this comes from.

I thought about it, but it’s been hard to work it out.  Was it maybe my upbringing,  always being told “do it yourself”.  Was this it?   So what, if I can’t do it myself, or buy it for myself therefore I am no good?  Not smart?  Too dumb to earn good money to buy nice things?

What about all those years of going to Church?   Being made to feel guilty, that delightful Catholic shame – has this made me into someone who doesn’t see herself as worthy at all? 

Or, always having to work hard to prove myself, at work or with my friends, seeing them rise, do well, advance, and feeling like what I do or how I do it is never enough for anyone – damn straight its going to make me think I’m not good enough, right?

What about people?  What about the broken marriage?

I never asked for much, but to be honest, it would have been nice if sometimes I was treated to something I liked, just because…but I wasn’t really. 

I can count on one hand the number of bunches of flowers I ever received, and I didn’t feel that any effort was ever put in to choosing Birthday or Christmas gifts, or anything else for that matter.  If a gift was given, a lot of the time it was things he thought I should like, rather than things I actually did.  Really fucking sad and depressing to realise that after 16 years of marriage the man still thought a good gift would be a brightly coloured, very large & gaudy necklace.

I hate bright colours, I live in denim and black and I don’t wear necklaces, not ever.

I always put effort into gifts. Not just for Birthdays and Christmas but little things, like seeing beers I thought he would like whilst I was out shopping and bringing a few home for him.  Like making sure I always bought the snacks he liked for movie night.  Like knowing he had an unused gift card, and making sure he got given another one because I knew there was something in particular at that shop he wanted to buy.

I never got this in return.  

After a while I leaned not to expect anything.  I accepted that I wasn’t cared about, not thought of, not loved.  Years of the same behaviour cemented that in my head.  I was obviously not very important.

So, finally breaking away from that life, and meeting someone new, a man who thinks very differently about these things, has been strange and enlightening and sometimes a bit confusing to me.  I’m being thought about now.  Cared about.  I have someone who does this type of thing for me, and as well as making me feel pretty damn special, it also comes with lots of the abovementioned feelings of guilt.

Well shit.

 

I didn’t know what to do

I was embarrassed.  I said things like  “really you didn’t need too” or “you shouldn’t have done that” and I said it with every gift I opened. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but it wasn’t going down well.  I think he felt as though what he had done for me wasn’t being appreciated.

When I realised this, I panicked.    I did like it!   Of course it was appreciated!  I actually really freaking loved the fact he’d thought long and hard about what to get me.  The fact he knew I would appreciate practical things, the fact he bought me things I needed, as well as stuff he knew I would like.

Did my reaction to each gift make him feel bad for getting me these things?  I think it did.  Of course I never meant it too – but I think deep down I  I felt like I didn’t deserve it.  I felt bad that he bought me so much, I felt like I was somehow putting him out, or expecting it, or something equally as horrible.  Even though he did it because he loves me, because he wanted too, my own feelings of guilt or unworthiness affected him that day.  I never realised that until later.

So what happened?

Well I had a hard time working this one out. Coming to understanding of why he did it and why I felt the way I did.  I still feel bad when he pays for things, when he buys me things or when he does things for me, and I doubt that’s going to go away quickly.  It’s not really the type of feelings you can just switch off.

I do know now though, that some people do have the means to help, and might even actually love you so much that they want to buy things for you, and at the end of the day, even though you may not feel worthy of receiving them, all you really need to do is smile, and say thankyou.

They certainly think you are worthy.  Of their time, their thoughtfulness, their effort and their love. 

Say thankyou and mean it, because you are worthy.

 

Just Be You, Everyday

 

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thedailyauthentic

⭐️ Personal Development Coaching for women
⌨️ Coach | Mentor | Planner
#justbeyoueveryday
👇Get your Personal Action Plan here

Danni Hanson
It’s true! Workshops are in the pipeline! Aft It’s true! 

Workshops are in the pipeline!

After some great feedback I’ve decided to start creating workshops which will be available via zoom. 

First up we will have understanding values, goal setting and the like, however more info will be available in the coming weeks.

Feel free to comment or DM me if you are interested or feel like sharing some topic ideas. 

Really looking forward to sharing this with you!

#justbeyoueveryday
If you asked me how I am today, I'd say I was grea If you asked me how I am today, I'd say I was great.

I am. Really! 

My life is great, but that doesn't mean that it's perfect, or nothing ever goes wrong, or no bad stuff ever stresses me out. 

Trust me that shit happens ALL. THE. TIME.

So I'm great and I'm also sad because I miss seeing people.

I'm great and I'm worried about my family and their struggles.

I'm great and I'm frustrated about work.

I'm great and I'm tired. mentally & physically.

It's not what happens TO YOU that defines you. 

It's how you can pick yourself up and keep going, even when everything around you might be falling apart.

Dumbledore said it best really... "It's our choices, that define who we really are....far more than our abilities".

So what choice do you make today? 

#justbeyoueveryday

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What do you do, that’s just for you? Me? I make What do you do, that’s just for you?

Me? I make smelly candles. 

Personally, I love smelly candles. I mean, I love REALLY, REALLY smelly candles. The kind that makes your entire house smell fabulous. 

Which is why all the smelly candles I make, are really, really smelly!! Haha. 

My fave smell I sell ( just in case you are interested, it’s fab, check the website!) is English Pear & Freesia… why? Because it’s a lovely clean, air freshening scent and it’s absolutely NOT because it reminds me of freshly washed laundry….! Ha! 

P.S I know the photo is not this scent
P.P.S if you want to buy some, just check out the link to my website in my bio.
P.P.P.S Please make sure you do something, everyday, that’s just for you. 

Just Be You, Everyday

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Right. Let’s talk supplements. I’ve always Right. Let’s talk supplements. 
 
I’ve always been open to taking vitamins and minerals my body is lacking. However, I realise it can be really difficult to figure out what you need. 
 
For me it’s been a lot of trial and error over the years and the biggest thing I’ve realised is that a multivitamin just didn’t cut it. Might be good for some, but not me.  As I’m ageing, my body is changing and it’s becoming really obvious (due to pain or other symptoms) that higher dosages of specific things are necessary.  I played around with different combinations of vitamins for ages until I found what works for me. 
 
Magnesium Chelate:  I suffer horribly from chronic pain and cramping in my muscles, restless legs and the like (remember growing pains? That’s something that never goes away for me). Only dramatically increasing the amount of magnesium I take helped this improve. 
 
Glucosamine:  Similar to the magnesium, a big dose of this has made the most improvement on my painful joints. I think this in particular, is what makes exercising bearable.
 
Vitamin B12: this is great for keeping me alert, energetic and helps alleviate the 3pm slump.
 
Hormone Harmony by @thehappymammoth 
I had never even heard of this until a few months ago. I was on the lookout for a new hormone supplement, as I had tried a few and they didn’t do much.  I did think these people were a bit full of it with the promises they spouted, but after lots of research I decided to give it a go.  Well shit! It’s been fabulous. I sleep better, wake better, don’t get the old lady hot flashes so much, my mood has dramatically improved, I’m not nearly so bloated and I generally just feel overall, a million times better.  Even considering the price (they are NOT cheap) they work a treat, so, will I keep paying this over-inflated cost to buy this product? Damn straight I will!
 
No 2 people are the same. Our bodies are different, our needs are different and what works for us is different.  Don’t be afraid to see what works for you. Do your research and always check with your doctor. 

Just always remember to take care of you. That’s what #selfcare is all about.
 
Just Be You, Everyday
It's no secret I'm an organised person. Over the It's no secret I'm an organised person. 

Over the years I have tried many different platforms, and I still use a good mix of paper goal planners, wall mounted calendars and a family planner on the fridge that shows me who's where and what's for dinner.

However, what I really love is this app.  It's called Evernote. It's been around awhile, and it's really really great.

It's my whole life in one app and without it I would be lost!

Here's what it does:

@evernote is…

It's a calendar (and it syncs with my email calendars);

You can create all sorts of different notebooks for all different things (I've got notebooks for the kids, for business, for work, for study, for hobbies, for home renovations, for Christmas, you name it);

You can link to excel spreadsheets for quick links to budgets and planners;

You can email items into the app and save them (like receipts, recipes, info from the web or photos or documents);

And much, MUCH more.

However. My absolute fave thing about it is the task list. 

In any notebook, any page, anywhere, you can create a task.  Name it, give it a due date, make it recurring.

So, I just update all my notebooks in the course of my week, and every day, I can just click into the "tasks" list and see a list (which you can sort, I like doing this by Due Date) and click off easily when its done.

It's fantastic!! Honestly, if I could create something this good, I would!

If you need an all in one organiser/diary/journal/digital file cabinet/to do list, to carry around with you - give it a go.

Just Be You, Everyday

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
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It's Fri-Yay. Hoo-Ray! Do me a favour. Think abou It's Fri-Yay. Hoo-Ray!

Do me a favour. Think about everything you did this week.  Be that paid work, unpaid work, volunteer work, housework, hobby work or being-a-taxi-for other people kind of work. 

Now Congratulate yourself.  You did it! You got it done, you are safely out the other end. 

Be Proud!

Now go get a drink, buy some takeaway, log on to netflix.  Whatever it is you do on the weekend that's just for you.

You've Earned It.

Just Be You, Everyday
Danni

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
When my marriage ended, there were many people who When my marriage ended, there were many people whom I chose to cut contact with. 

Not because I didn't like them, but because I knew that keeping that relationship alive would actively work against my personal journey of healing, and my need to move forward with my own life. 

If I see them now, I still say hello, I chat, I'm still genuinely happy to see them.  However, that's where it ends. It's for the benefit of my mental health. Which is, ultimately, most important to me.

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
Exercise is stress relief right? You know that. Exercise is stress relief right? 

You know that.  The endorphins and serotonin boost that comes from it, improves your mood.

It feels good to smack a punching bag, pound the pavement or push hard against some weights when we are stressed. Sure, exercise isn't always fun at the time, but the feeling you get at the end, that's what makes it all worthwhile.

Make it a habit to move your body everyday.  Run, weights, gym if that's your thing. 

Switch up an activity if you can to make it include movement.  Walk instead of driving, find an easy exercise video online.  Take a bushwalk on the weekend or a bike ride with the kids.  Walk your dog a bit longer than you normally do. 

It doesn't have to be the same thing everyday!

Any movement is good movement. For your mind, as well as your body. 

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
Try these 4 ways to focus today and Make. It. Happ Try these 4 ways to focus today and Make. It. Happen!

1. Eliminate distractions.  Turn off all notifications, make a set time for social media, turn your phone to voicemail.

2. Do one thing at a time. Do it well, do it properly. Get it done.

3. Eat & Rest. Choose nutritious meals, stay away from take out and sugars.  Take short, frequent breaks throughout the day.

4. Get a proper nights' sleep.  There's a reason sleep deprivation is torture. It might not be violent but because it attacks the mental & biological functions at the core of our being, it's a lot more damaging (and probably should have been number 1!).

Try These. I promise. They work!

Just Be You, Everyday

#thedailyauthentic  #justbeyoueveryday #beauthentic #mumcoach #selflovecoach #mindfulnesscoach #mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthaustralia #alignmentcoach #lifecoaching #selfcare #selfhelp #mindfulness #mindset #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #coachingforwomen #organization #planner #dowhatyoulove 
#persueyourpassion #womenshealth #womenswellnesscoach #wellbeing #wellbeingcoaching
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