Its a known fact I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions.
That said, I do think that planning is super important to keep yourself on track. It allows you to have things to focus on, to look forward too and to push yourself to achieve.
Something I never really spent too much time on though, was self reflection. Until this last year I didn’t think it was actually that important. I mean good to know, but not really useful for forward planning right?
Ahh, no. apparently not. Having this realisation this year (thanks to friends and deep discussions and self help books) has showed me that I really should take a bit of time to reflect on what I have done. Achievements, experiences, events and mistakes I have made along the way.
This is just as important as planning ahead. Almost more important.
What have I accomplished over the past year?
- Closed the door on an old life, and did so without making things difficult or being unkind or unfair.
- Started a new relationship. Started learning about someone new, how they work and what they need.
- Started to realise that I have no idea who I am or what my personal identity actually is, outside of the fact I’m a mum and do a lot for other people.
- Relaxed, de-stressed & learned to breathe.
- Watched more movies and TV than I have in my lifetime.
- Took care of myself mentally.
- Exercised more, lost over 10kg and toned up.
- Stopped drinking quite so much.
- Read more books, and remembered how much I actually love to do so.
- Stopped rushing. Learned to calm. Started to realise I don’t have to do absolutely everything right.now.this.minute.
- Learned to say No.
- Made time for what’s important.
What have I learned?
- That I don’t need to be everything to everyone.
- To stop tolerating disrespect and see it for what it actually is. No matter who’s doing it.
- That I should not feel bad when others’ do things for me.
- That its perfectly normal to accept help and not feel guilty about it.
- That whilst I’m not a helicopter parent, I need to allow my kids to be more independent.
- That I don’t need everyone to be my friend. Just a few good people.
- That I am important and I should be treated as such.
What do I want to leave behind?
- Those who make no effort to be a part of my life.
- A job/career/hobby that doesn’t fulfil me.
- People who expect, but not respect.
What is not worth it?
- Finishing books that are boring.
- Drinking bad wine.
- Putting effort into things that bring me no joy.
- Feeling overwhelmed, rushed or taken advantage of.
- Having other people tell me what I should do with my own life.
What is going well?
- I have someone with whom I feel complete, loved, part of a team.
- I am getting a better idea of who I am and what is important to me.
- I can look back and see things clearly – without the veil of expectation or obligation
- I know where I want to go and I’m working out how to get there.
What is my motivation?
- Being happy & content
- Not having need to worry
- Having time for family & friends
- Knowing I’m spending my time on what I like to do
- Seeing my children happy and enjoying life
Sometimes you get stuck down in the dirt of everyday life and its hard to see the positives. A bit of reflection helps you to see the good things you have done, at a time when you probably can’t remember any of them.
My last year has been hard, damn straight it has, but its also been really really good. I’ve let go of things that made me unhappy. I’ve learned to not worry about things that should not concern me. I’ve been able to cut people and things from my life who make no effort but expect much in return. I have realised who I can be.
Just Be You, Everyday